Sweden can be a nice country. Unfortunetly it has lost most of it's cultural and historycal heritage. No viking themed pub, no historical museum. Was it naive to think that there are going to be places like that? I don't think so. Maybe it is because of the lack of tourism, because of the steep prices. I mean 10 bucks for a beer? Come on... Oh, and gues what. No mead! I know!!! There is nothing else then business in that country. True, I only saw one city, but Göteborg as a hub which should be full of culture.
Now I'm glad that I'm back with my family. My boy is growing fast and he is well.
I've missed out on a lot from the grinding comunity as well. Also need to get back to tattooing asap.
I'm getting out of practice. At least I finaly managed to get my drivers licenc.
In other news,: Lepht hasn't updated her blog for two months now. I'm thinking of giving her a call or at least a text. I can still see articles on the web saying she's a reckless punk slicing her self open with a vegetable pealer sterilised with vodka and right after that they say that she's the first one to bring biohacking to the peoples attention. "Whith all due respect" shit... I'm sick of those people. Anything they are afraid to try out, they precieve as a threat. Those bullshit comments about "a bunch of self harming kids on drugs" are doing my head in... Educate your self you fucking fuck! Well, what do I care for them. Education isn't gonna help them anyway. I understand that Tim Cannon is trying to make Grindhouse wetware look more acceptable in the eyes of the public by separating them selfs from cyberpunk L. But this is not the way. I'd like to know what DirectorX thinks of this.
I'm starting to build up a transhumanist/grinder/biohacker comunity over here in CZ. It's going slow, but I think it'll work...
Showing posts with label people don't get it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people don't get it. Show all posts
October 23, 2012
August 7, 2012
touchy about the subject
Had a really dark mood today, don't know what it was. For example: heard a song from Phil Collins "Another day in paradise", remembered the clip I saw ages ago, guy can't cope with things anymore and walks out into the street after an argument with his spouse, gets drugs, gets high, his girl finds him in a back ally next to a dumpster starts crying, he starts crying too, she hugs him and takes him back home to take care of him. Beautiful, really...
Had to switch the song off within 5 seconds. I hate my self for thinking like this, but, sometimes I have these thoughts. See the piston of a needle pull back, seeing a junkie scene in a movie or hearing a freakin' song like that and after all those years I still think of going to the nearest dealer, jack up near OD and space out,,, fuck everything. That pisses me of about addiction, even if you have the will power to overcome it, it never really let's go of you, never...
I used to be a methamphetamine addict, bad case. One of the things my country is famous for is Pervitin, a very potent form of meth. Had to run out of the country to shake the habit. Ran to Scotland-Kirkcaldy.
Very fucking hard times indeed...
Again, I'm going somewhere with this,,, about three hours ago I was wondering out loud about trying to make some poppy tea in the presence of my beloved spouse. Not a good idea,,, she doesn't know me from when I was ... gone(?) roaming funky land. so,,, she didn't take well to it, thinking of the little one and me getting back to drugs. Do I even have to explain this? I'm somewhat touchy about that subject, when she thinks this,,, my head is thinking "how dare you.."(not having any experience with the subject and not realising how proud I am of shaking that fucking gorilla of my back). May be a bit harsh, as a reaction, I don't say that out loud though,,, it simply pisses me of... am I over reacting? or do I deserve to be touchy about the subject???
post scriptum: status report: Energy levels dwindling, depression level rising, will update...
Had to switch the song off within 5 seconds. I hate my self for thinking like this, but, sometimes I have these thoughts. See the piston of a needle pull back, seeing a junkie scene in a movie or hearing a freakin' song like that and after all those years I still think of going to the nearest dealer, jack up near OD and space out,,, fuck everything. That pisses me of about addiction, even if you have the will power to overcome it, it never really let's go of you, never...
I used to be a methamphetamine addict, bad case. One of the things my country is famous for is Pervitin, a very potent form of meth. Had to run out of the country to shake the habit. Ran to Scotland-Kirkcaldy.
Very fucking hard times indeed...
Again, I'm going somewhere with this,,, about three hours ago I was wondering out loud about trying to make some poppy tea in the presence of my beloved spouse. Not a good idea,,, she doesn't know me from when I was ... gone(?) roaming funky land. so,,, she didn't take well to it, thinking of the little one and me getting back to drugs. Do I even have to explain this? I'm somewhat touchy about that subject, when she thinks this,,, my head is thinking "how dare you.."(not having any experience with the subject and not realising how proud I am of shaking that fucking gorilla of my back). May be a bit harsh, as a reaction, I don't say that out loud though,,, it simply pisses me of... am I over reacting? or do I deserve to be touchy about the subject???
post scriptum: status report: Energy levels dwindling, depression level rising, will update...
August 6, 2012
Better left untold
It's harder then i thought, I guess nothing can really prepare you for this,,, not having time to sit back and leave everything in the physical domain. Always something to do, minute to minute, hour after hour till your head goes fucking mental at any tiny inconvenience. Such are the hardships of parenthood...
Now I'm glad I created this forum...
Let me tell you something I've learned over the years. Do not let people around you know a thing out of your head, keep it to yourself until you are a 100% sure, that they will accept who and what you are without the silver Mask of Society (acceptance and speech +20). If you're at least a bit like me, people will never see what you really are about, not without long term inception anyway,,, You'll hear how crazy you are, how unacceptable, unreal etc. Base rule: People are stupid,,, sad but true in general. People might show outright fear (I know!! unbelievable). Or cast you out of their "take serious list"...
Where I'm going with this,,, I don't have any people in my area of effect to which I could talk about these things, ok, maybe one, but mostly that is not enough. Let them know what exactly you think about a sayed subject, how you felt about things regardless of public opinion. ok enough chit-chat for today, gotta go to work tomorrow morn,,, fuck...
Stay tuned for another episode of "Tales from the mind side"
Now I'm glad I created this forum...
Let me tell you something I've learned over the years. Do not let people around you know a thing out of your head, keep it to yourself until you are a 100% sure, that they will accept who and what you are without the silver Mask of Society (acceptance and speech +20). If you're at least a bit like me, people will never see what you really are about, not without long term inception anyway,,, You'll hear how crazy you are, how unacceptable, unreal etc. Base rule: People are stupid,,, sad but true in general. People might show outright fear (I know!! unbelievable). Or cast you out of their "take serious list"...
Where I'm going with this,,, I don't have any people in my area of effect to which I could talk about these things, ok, maybe one, but mostly that is not enough. Let them know what exactly you think about a sayed subject, how you felt about things regardless of public opinion. ok enough chit-chat for today, gotta go to work tomorrow morn,,, fuck...
Stay tuned for another episode of "Tales from the mind side"
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